The Big Bump
You don’t really conquer such a mountain. You conquer yourself!
You overcome the sickness and everything else, your pain,
aches, fears-- to reach the summit.
-James Whittaker (on Mount Everest)
"Danger, Will Robinson. Danger, Will Robinson!”
- Lost In Space robot
Every
now and then, when you’re cruising along, feeling great and enjoying
the ride, you hit a big bump. You didn’t see it, and you weren’t ready
for it, and so it really shakes you up. In fact, sometimes these bumps
take you right off the road you are traveling. When you hit them hard
enough, they stop you right there. If you had only known the bump was
coming, you could have gotten ready. Then you could approach it and
figure out a way to get over it with the least damage and disturbance
to your ride. If only you had known! The great thing about having a
coach is that you can be warned about things you don’t see coming and be
helped through them once you are in them. So let me warn you: You are
about to hit a Big Bump. I will explain this in a second. I also want to
let you know that I will coach you through it and past it, but you are
going to hit it.
Sorry, you can’t avoid it.
I
count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his
enemies: for the hardest victory is the victory over self.
-Aristotle
That’s
right, you can’t avoid it. You can’t make a turn, take a different
road, jump, fly, or do anything else to avoid it. You can’t even stop in
your tracks--you’ll still hit it. There is nowhere you can go! The
great thing is we can manage to get over it and continue our journey.
The best way out is always through.
-Robert Frost
Yes,
you can make it through, and when you do, there will be a new world
with endless possibilities waiting for you to develop and to fulfill
your individual potential. The choice is yours, and if you want to make
it over the bump, you can. If you want it, I will help you. So I have to
ask you once again: Do you want to turn your life into what you want it
to be? If you do, hang on to your seats, and grit your teeth because
the bump you are about to smack into is yourself!
Did
you think it was going to be that easy? As much as you have worked and
as much as you have grown, you had the advantage of surprise, momentum
and the excitement of something new going for you. Your old negative
patterns of thinking were caught off guard and didn’t really think you
were serious. After all, they have been around a long time, and you
never followed through before and got rid of them, so why should this
time be different? But they get a sense it's different this time and if
they want to stay, they’ll have to do something about it!
I
like to think of negative patterns as tenants in an apartment building.
Your brain is the building and negative thoughts, patterns and habits
occupy apartment space there. Not only are they tenants, but they also
have ruled the building. They have made the rules and have set the tone
of the standard of living. They have nonstop parties, pizza and beer and
have all their friends over all the time. The music is so loud that the
songs they sing are often the only thing we can hear.
They’ve
been having all the fun and too much fun for a long time. Now that you
want them to leave, they’re not going to just pack up their bags like
good little children and exit the building quietly and cooperatively.
Oh, no, they’re going to kick and scream and do everything they can to
stay! They’ll start to tell you that you do not have to follow the
Checklist. They’ll start to tell you that you can skip a day, that you
can skip items, that things are silly in TOOLS,
that things do not apply to you, that for however long you do this,
every thought you think of will disqualify and stop the process.
However,
it’s your building, and you do have the right to kick them out. After
all they’ve been destroying your property for a long time. They make you
eat too much, late for important appointments, insecure, depressed,
smoke, drink, not exercise, lower your self esteem, all this and more.
They’ve been doing everything to run the building down. So as a landlord
who should be interested in the upkeep of your property, you do have
the right to get rid of them and restore your building. So what kind of
landlord are you going to be?
I
can tell you I know this will happen at some point in the next seven
days. In my experience with clients, the majority of them suffer a
setback in the period between Day 23 and Day 30. They find reasons to
return to old habits and patterns of thinking. They usually have quite
intelligent reasons. After all, it’s not that they are failing to
follow through, but very important work issues have come up. I have a
family member that needs help right now. I mean after all, there’s not
just enough time to think positively throughout the day is, there? I’ve
heard it all, and I can tell you it is all a lie! Every reason, every
justification, every manner to stop this process and or disqualify it
is a lie.
The greatest deceiver of them all, your negative pattern of thinking, is lying to you.
It
is a revenge of the devil sometimes takes upon the virtuous, that
entraps them by the force of the very thoughts they have suppressed and
think themselves superior to.
-George San Tayana
So
it’s okay to linger in bed, eat another donut, and not put effort into
plans to make your life what you want it to be? Listen, this process
works, but you have to stick with it and make it work! You have to want
to change, and you have to fight to control your apartment building.
Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
-Carol Burnett
Your
tenants are no strangers, though. No, your old habits and negative
patterns of thinking have become good friends. They are old friends you
are used to and comfortable with. After all, they support all your wrong
decisions and make you feel good about them. As bad as they are for
you, they are what you know. Often, when I’m working with people, as
good as their lives start to become, they are uncomfortable with these
new feelings. It’s a situation they are not used to, and as good as it
is, it can actually be scary. It’s facing and experiencing the unknown.
As bad as our negative thinking is, it’s what we know, are familiar
with and feel safe around.
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
-Anonymous
Your
old ways of thinking are like the old pair of shoes in your closet.
You’ve broken them in and they feel right. Even though they have holes
in the bottoms and do not do a good job of protecting and helping you,
you put them on instead of the new pair of shoes lying next to them.
You’ll wear the old shoes in the rain and get wet. The new shoes have to
be broken in and at first are uncomfortable, so you go with what you
know. Let’s not only break in those new shoes; let’s get rid of that old
pair once and for all.
First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.
-John Dryden
The
important thing to remember is that, although these negative thoughts
are old friends, they are not good friends, nor do they have your best
interests in mind. In fact, these negative thoughts are abusive friends
who don’t care about you. They only care about what they want, and the
things they want are always bad for you. I like to think of it as being
in an abusive relationship. It always amazes everyone how a battered and
abused person goes back to the abusive partner.
Unfortunately,
we go back to what we know and are used to, whether it’s good for us or
not. Let’s not stay in an abusive relationship. Let’s break free.
So
what’s it going to be? An amazing aspect that people don’t understand
and don’t consider is that negativity is an addictive and dangerous
drug. We actually crave and desire it. It becomes how we think. We begin
to see the world not through rosy glasses, but rather through the dark,
tinted glasses of our negative patterns of thinking.
Think
about it. You get up in the morning and read the newspaper, get in your
car to go to work and hear the same news you just read, then on your
way home you listen to it once again, then the evening news and then the
news before bed. What changed in all that time? Not much, you just need
another dose of negativity. We begin to love to hear about other
people’s problems and adversities. Our conversations tilt toward our
complaints and negative opinions. Then it reflects in our patterns of
behavior. We give up, don’t go to the gym, eat badly, drink badly; it
all doesn’t matter. It’s a giant black cloud that swallows us.
Negativity
is a very dangerous and bad drug that kills lives and our ability to
make our lives what we want them to be. When I work with my clients, I
like to give them this visual, and they tell me that it helps them
through the battle. It helps you stop from giving negative thoughts a
warm and friendly greeting. Then you can evict them from the apartment
building of your mind.
For
many, negative thinking is a habit, which over time, becomes an
addiction. It’s a disease, like alcoholism, compulsive overeating, or
drug abuse.
-Peter McWilliams
I
tell them to visualize a junkie shooting heroin in his or her arm.
Think of the most disgusting character you can conjure up in your mind.
Hunched over, drooling, with scabs and bruises, and a needle in his or
her arm. Then every time you’re getting ready to indulge yourself with
another dose of negativity, see yourself as that character shooting up
with negativity. Both heroin and negativity destroy lives, it’s simply a
matter of choosing a drug of choice. Now I know this is not pleasant,
and I know you don’t like to think of it this way. If you do, you can
change, but as long as you give your negative patterns of thinking any
room, they’ll try to take over, and they’ll try to spread into every
area of your life. They will affect your health, career, relationships .
. . everything they can.
The strangest and most fantastic fact about negative emotions
is that people actually worship them.
-P.D. Ouspensky
Negative
patterns of thinking are so strong that they take over our souls. They
become who we are, and we begin to idealize them and crave them. We
gather around in groups, worshiping them. But you can make a conscious
decision to change these patterns. You can decide that you’re not going
to listen to the lies and that you’re going to finish TOOLS. You can
decide that no matter what logical reason you invent that you will not
take your eye off the goal of finishing TOOLS.
Now
that you know that you’ll hit this bump, you can hit it and keep going.
Now you won’t be surprised by it, but even though you know it’s
coming, you’ll have to fight. Believe me, your negative thinking
patterns are very tricky; they’ll seduce you with suggestions that seem
so harmless; after all, what’s one day, one piece of cake, one more
drink, one more hour of lingering in bed, one night of no sleep? Yes, it
will rear its ugly head and try to devour you. But we can beat this and
we will!
You also have to watch out for friends and relatives. It’s amazing how seeing someone else change and
become positive can be seriously intimidating. They’ll tell you that to
wake up, clap your hands and say, “I’m having a great day,” is silly.
They’ll tell you that this is just a bunch of malarkey. Misery loves
company, and some people will not be comfortable with the new you.
They’ll say things in a sarcastic manner: “Here comes Mr. or Ms. Happy.”
Have you ever noticed that alcoholics always want you to have another
drink with them?
This
is about you, and this is about you being able to make your life what
you want it to be. This is about your career, your health, your body,
and your relationships. This is about everything you want. So what’s it
going to be, the new way or the old way of thinking? The funny thing is
we’re talking about ninety days. Ninety days of continuous, consistent
effort in thinking positively and putting effort into your life. We’re
talking about ninety days, when you have already seen positive results
in your life. Don’t tell me you haven’t! Don’t even try to tell me you
haven’t! This is Coach you are talking to, or did you forget?
Listen, I know you have. Everyone I have ever worked with has. Everyone that I have worked on with the testing of Tools To Life,
has. Are you some kind of exception? The patterns of positive behavior
we’ve been working on have had no positive results in your life? Well,
we both know that’s a lie, and we know that you’re not only lying to me
but to yourself as well. We already discussed that behind every lie to
yourself is a failure. Stop the lying. You know you’re doing better, and
if you’re not it’s because you don’t want to be better, and then your
intent is to fail.
Once
again, we’re talking about ninety days. Ninety days in a life span
where you didn't take control of how you’re thinking. Don’t you think
it’s about time? Do you think it's really that much effort? Fight the
impulse to self-sabotage. Remember, “If you do what you’ve always done,
you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
It
is not every calamity that is a curse, and early adversity is often a
blessing. Surmounted difficulties not only teach, but hearten us in our
future struggles.
-James Sharp
This
week will not be your last battle with the roar of your negative
patterns of thinking. However, every time you face the battle and win,
you get stronger and stronger, and the negative patterns of thinking get
weaker and weaker. Remember that the less you use a pathway (synapse),
the more the vegetation grows back. Conversely, the more you take
conscious effort toward positive, constructive behavior and thought in
your life, the stronger those pathways become. Eventually they will be
superhighways to the destination of your desires.
Great men rejoice in adversity, just as brave soldiers triumph in war.
-Lucius Seneca
So
now that you know the bump is coming, you are ready. Make up your mind
now and be resolved to conquer and continue on our journey through TOOLS.
This is a battle and a battle worth winning. Together we will win. With
your commitment, we will coach you through, and the war will end.
The only conquests which are permanent and leave no regrets
are the conquests over ourselves.
-Napoleon Bonaparte
I also have a group at APSense. The goal is to have an online presence as big as possible. When the site is ready for launch, I will create a Brand Page at APSense too. I look forward to partnership with some people which will benefit the Video Marketing Champions members by diversifying the content and resources.
Video Marketing Champions will provide answers and tips using free tools as much as possible. Since the information will help your business growth, you will then be able to afford the paid tools I will recommend.
I look forward to your feedback and participation, on the Fan Page as well as the site when it's ready.
